Not The Anticipated Outcome
Once again, I am impacted by the words of Jesus, this time as He instructs His disciples about being hated. His choice of words on the verge of His arrest startle me. I hadn’t noticed how conflicting they were. John 15:17-18 AMP reads,
17 This [is what] I command you: that you love and unselfishly seek the best for one another. 18 “If the world hates you [and it does], know that it has hated Me before it hated you.
Up until a few days ago, I had not noticed how these two opposite emotions were right next to each other in the Bible and not at all the logical response expected from those who are commanded to love and selflessly seek the best for others. Am I the only one who finds this shocking?!
At first glance, this grieves me to the core. It breaks my heart actually. What a discouraging “fruit” from loving others unselfishly! I am saddened that the genuine act of loving others cannot be received more beneficially by those intended to be blessed by it.
But then my next thought is of Jesus and how this certainly describes His life.
Jesus teaches us how to be Christlike even if we are hated for no reason. Share on XNot The Anticipated Savior
Christ was not exactly the Savior the people expected. Even though they had plenty of Scripture prophesying His nature and purpose, many of them had conjured up their own idea of what a “Messiah” should look like. Because they were oppressed, poor and in physical need, they longed for a redeemer who would free them from foreign government rule, provide for their material and physical needs, and generally reward them lavishly for being Jewish.
Jesus, out of perfect love, came to meet much more pressing matters than that. Whereas the Jews tended to think He would come for the outward needs of man, He actually came to meet the inward needs. His purpose was to free them once and for all from their sinful condition. Christ did this by conquering sin and death on the cross when He died for all of our sins and was resurrected three days later.
In essence, He came to free them from their own sinful rule, not the dominion of other foreign powers. Their reward was more lavish than merely financial profit or physical wellness. It was an eternal gain- a spiritual inheritance with life everlasting in heaven. Christ came to make them more than subjects under their chosen king, but rather sons of the Living God.
Unfortunately, many of them wanted to be “loved” differently than how God deemed in their best interest. So much so that they rejected Jesus altogether, eventually crucifying Him because He did not meet their expectations of a savior.
Nevertheless, there are 4 beautiful lessons we can learn from Christ to help us respond to those who hate us. If He determined that we should be warned of negative reactions to our sincere love shown toward others, then we should be prepared.
4 Ways We Can Be Christlike When We Are Hated
1. Being hated didn’t change His purpose.
Regardless of how others responded to His loving them in their best interest (agapeo love), He was still going to continue that. Since God is love (1 John 4:16), there is no other motive or purpose to have. Just as Jesus continued to be Jesus, so should we continue to be His representatives whether in the face of reciprocated love or in the face of opposition. As Christians, we can keep our primary motivation for our time on this earth as unselfishly seeking the best for others. We exist to know God and make Him known to others. Love is at the root of both of these endeavors.
2. Being hated didn’t change His personality.
Thankfully, Jesus did not respond the way I used to respond when others were negative toward me. For too many years, I would become mad with those who were mad with me. Jesus, on the other hand, did not let the rejection or attacks of others change His behavior. Their lack of acknowledging what was truth did not become His reason to get ugly. He kept being true to His pure heart. He was lovingly consistent, without mirroring anyone else’s demeanor. Romans 12:18 NIV explains this mindset well I think.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
This shows me that we are only responsible for ourselves, not others. Therefore, no matter how others react, we can still try to be genuine in our love and desire to do right by them. This may not mean that they will see that for what it is, as is evidenced in the life of Jesus. If He can remain true to His loving ways then so should we.
3. Being hated did not change His processing.
Later on in this passage, Jesus goes on to explain WHY He was hated when He had loved others purely as only God can. It says in John 15:25,
They hated me without reason.
Ok, this is a game changer! As a logical person, I continually get entangled by the unreasonable “reason” that someone doesn’t respond to my love toward them. But this verse tells me that someone else doesn’t even need a legitimate reason to hate me.
There is no point in relentlessly processing the disdain from someone else when we receive no conviction from God over our behavior or intentions toward them. Jesus did not waste His time trying to figure out false accusations. He did not let their falsehood or dysfunction become His narrative/identity. Nor should we.
The Word of God is our narrative, not someone else's falsehood or dysfunction. Share on XWe can love others and move on whether they are able to receive that love or not.
4. Being hated did not change His position.
Jesus was still the perfect Son of God even though He was hated, mocked and crucified. The view of others did not change the view from His Father. An accusation is not the same as a verdict. Romans 8:1 NIV echoes this truth for us.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
We may be hated without reason but that doesn’t mean we are faulted by God for it. God knows if we are in sin and He will most certainly convict us over it if so. It is to our own best interest to ask God to examine us daily, to know if we are self-deceived or in denial by our sin toward others. The last thing we want is to live in rebellion or ignorance of sin but if there is no conviction, then we can let their hatred go in one ear and out the other, just as Jesus did.
Our Takeaway
Just because we are unable to live up to the expectations of others does not mean we are at fault, nor does it mean our love will be fruitless. We can trust Jesus’ words so that we ARE prepared for the times we are at a loss as to why we are hated. An accusation is not the same as a verdict.
We may not be able to change being hated by someone but we don’t have to let it change us! Live in freedom my friends and keep loving!
We may not be able to change being hated by others but we don't have to let it change us! Christlikeness is not hindered even when it is not accepted by others. Share on X
Bethany says
Powerful, Gretchen. Thank you!
Gretchen Fleming says
Thank you Bethany! Hope you have a great weekend ??
Debbie says
This is an especially timely message for a person I shared it with. Thanks Gretchen.
Gretchen Fleming says
My pleasure! Thanks for sharing!
Rebecca Jones says
We can love others and move on whether they are able to receive that love or not. Love it! I never expected to be ” hated ” even falsely accused by fellow Christians who don’t have a deeper understanding of His Word. Thanks for writing this. I understand that can he so hurtful, I sobbed when a pastor told me I was not ashamed of the gospel, and a couple of weeks ago a lady was kind enough to tell me I reflect Christ well. That overshadows the bad.
Gretchen Fleming says
Amen friend! It gives us the opportunity to fellowship in the sufferings of Christ. Thanks for visiting with me today.
sue says
I wonder how i’ve grieved God by wanting to be loved differently than how He does? Great post, as usual, my friend. xx
Gretchen Fleming says
Thanks, Sue! Love and hugs to the west coast!
Jolena says
Thank you for sharing this perspective. The last thing I want is for anyone to not like me-to a fault at times. Much energy is spent by me worrying about what others think. The reminder to temper everything in love is much needed for my heart today. Thank you.
Gretchen Fleming says
My pleasure and I’m so glad it was useful!
Sarah Geringer says
Sharing this important post on Pinterest and Twitter, friend!
Gretchen Fleming says
You’re the bomb friend! Thank you Sarah!
Leslie Newman says
Gretchen, this is so good. These truths in how Jesus handled rejection can be applied to so many situations we may run across in life. Thank you so much! I’m marking this one to read again tonight! Blessings!
Gretchen Fleming says
Thank you Leslie! Blessings friend!
Kristi Woods says
Powerful insight….love the 4 points. And gosh, I’ve not noticed the love/hate in John 15. Powerful. I’m so glad I stopped here today and gleaned a bit from you. Visiting, Gretchen, from #heartencouragementThursday.
Gretchen Fleming says
Thanks for stopping by Kristi! Hope you have a great day!
Theresa Boedeker says
Gretchen, this was powerful. Jesus didn’t let the hatred change him. He kept to his purpose and spoke the truth and kept loving and moving forward. Wow! If only we can do the same. It is hard not to get mired down in the reason for the hate. After I have processed a hate for awhile, I always come back to that ultimately the haters are hurting themselves more than us and deserve our compassion.
Gretchen Fleming says
Exactly! It helps to take the time to process the negativity with the Lord. He offers insight into the circumstances and people who are usually hurting more than us. Thanks for visiting with me Theresa!
Susan Shipe says
I wanted to come over and return the visit and thank you for being willing to pray for us months ago regarding the sale of our home. We did sell, full price, and are now happily settled in a downtown “flat” overlooking life in all its phases!
Gretchen Fleming says
My pleasure and I am so glad to hear that! Congratulations Susan!
Lauren Sparks says
Being a people pleaser by nature can really tear you up. Thanks for these words. Visiting you today from Chrystal Storm’s link up. laurensparks.net
Gretchen Fleming says
Thanks for stopping by!
Kit Tosello says
Helpful perspective. Thank you! Romans 12:18 keeps coming up for me, so I’m paying attention. I came by way of Holley Gerth’s linkup today. 🙂
Gretchen Fleming says
Glad to have you visit!
Ashley Rowland | HISsparrowBlog says
Oh my, Gretchen! This is a great list. What you said about people not needing a reason to hate you really resonated with me. My mind won’t seem to get past figuring what I could have possibly done to make someone hate me so much, and the answer is obvious, but it’s still hard to accept. And #2 is so hard! My natural reaction when someone gets mad at me is to return the sentiment. :-\
Thanks for such an insightful and Christ-centered post.
Gretchen Fleming says
My pleasure and I’m so glad it was useful! Blessings friend and thank you!
Maree Dee says
Great Post! I spent a year loving someone who hated me. I kept showing up time after time. It taught me the true meaning of unconditional love and how God loves us. I didn’t always do it well, and I could never have done it without God’s strength, love, and grace. Oh, yes and his example. I love the way you put this post together.
Thank you for sharing with Grace & Truth Christian Link-Up.
Blessings, Maree
Maree Dee says
I have chosen your post to feature this Friday on Grace & Truth Christian LInk-Up.
Gretchen Fleming says
Thank you Maree! How did your situation turn out? What happened after a year of loving them while they hated you?
Crystal Twaddell says
It is all about fighting that “people pleaser” part of us that keeps us from standing in the strength of Christ. I often find myself second-guessing or doubting myself as a first response when I don’t live up to someone’s expectations, and I appreciate the reminder that this does not mean we are at fault, nor are we required to give an explanation or defense. We can let it sit where it originated. Love your wisdome, Gretchen!
Gretchen Fleming says
Thank you, friend! I too usually doubt myself at first.
Janis says
I found this post LITERALLY at just the right time. I’m going through a trying time with someone and I needed this encouragement to practice unconditional love and not mirror the behavior directed towards me. Thank you.
gretchen fleming says
God is so faithful, isn’t He?! Grateful that He provided just what you needed!