Sneaky Self-Pity And How It Works Against Us

I am breaking from my year-long endeavor to blog through my chronological Bible for today. I want to open the door of my life and bring you in to see what the Author and Perfecter of my faith is doing. It is my hope to encourage you to follow hard after what is yours by faith in Christ, not letting the sin that can so easily entangle, keep you from all that He has for you as a believer……because  it has sure kept me from it.

Coming up to my parent’s beautiful lake house in Kentucky for some spiritual solitude, I needed the material He wanted me to teach for an upcoming women’s retreat. I came away to hear from Him for the sake of others, but like the loving Sanctifier He is, I gained the lesson that I needed most to hear.

The topic I was studying for the retreat was “joy”.  As I looked at my word studies and all the times “joy” was cited in the Bible, I began to learn so much more than I had ever known about the topic. And honestly, the more I learned, the more I felt in conflict.

Sitting there reading God’s truth on the matter, looking at beautiful views of His creation, I began to see a life-long tendency I had that hindered my own joy. As much as I was learning how joy was  intended to be our daily experience, from our right relations with Him through faith, I began to realize how often I struggled with discouragement.

So I sat there with that and asked the Lord to poke and prod.

I wanted Jesus to render the diagnosis of what was wrong, so I could gain the necessary  perspective to set me free from my own bad habits. 

It took time.

Meditating.

Reading the Word for my own sake and not only for preparation for the retreat.

And waiting……

In my spirit, I felt I was wrong in my attitude somehow but for the life of me, I could not pinpoint it. The Lord began to connect the dots for me little by little and my folly began to emerge.

As He connected my learned tendency to be over-responsible and “wounded”, I began to see how debilitating this was for me as it hindered my living more consistently in joy. Jesus taught me that this culminated in another behavior that I had never really identified- self-pity. 

Self-pity is sneaky because we don’t really realize we are wallowing in it at the time.

We actually feel justified in “feeling bad” , due to a circumstance that isn’t working out just like we want or because of someone is not meeting our expectations.

God showed me how I allowed discouragement over circumstances and people to fester into self-pity.

Discouragment is a self-inflicted wound that I obsess over until it becomes my very own pity-party. 

If I am feeling discouraged, it is because I have allowed it. By obsessing about the negative feeling and what precipitated it, I set my course toward a more destructive emotion of self-pity. That is exactly what the enemy wants me to do with my hurts  It may be his plan but it is my choice to cooperate

Jesus was not a picture of someone discouraged or lacking joy. Reading through the verses in the gospel accounts of when He referenced joy (John 15-17 for example), I learn that joy is what He intends for me.

And for you.

Pity-parties rob us of the joy Jesus offers us. Joy is not supposed to be conditional in a believer’s life but habitual. It only becomes our daily reality as we fight hard against our own self-inflicted habits that work against the abundant life Jesus came and died to give us. John 10:10 says,

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; but I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. 

Jesus has taught me on this getaway what I needed more than the material for a retreat. I needed to recognize the scheme of the enemy that was being used against me and how I was being all too cooperative. There is a legitimate reason if I am struggling with joylessness and it is coming from the recurring pity-parities I throw for myself. By taking responsibility and repenting from bad habits, I position myself to live more consistently in the example of my Savior.

Oh the bounty when we seek His refining of our faith! What blessings are ours when we ask for the loving-kindness of His poking and prodding in our lives!! I do not want to spend the rest of my life feeling justified for feeling bad! 

And neither do you my friend…..

To His Glory and Grace,

Gretchen