When Pain Is What We Need Most

It is amazing what a jolt of pain will do.  Who would have known the necessity, the benefit from it?!

Mind you, no one likes it. It’s not something we long to sign up for, but oh how we need it! We need it in the most desperate way sometimes. As if our very lives depended upon it……

In reality, our lives DO depend on it! Sometimes, because of our stubborn, sinful flesh, it is the only remedy that can save or help.

God engineered us to respond to fear. It is meant to work FOR us, to warn us and guide us. Fear has two general meanings: to feel afraid of and to feel awe toward. These two definitions are to work together. They are two sides of the same coin, so to speak.

It is to our advantage to feel fear of what can harm us and feel awe toward God as He governs us. The accountability that fear/awe bring should help us make wise choices in life. But sometimes, when we are determined and deceived enough to go our own way, we lose ALL perspective on what should be common sense choices. Then, we are careening toward what will eventually bring about devastation and destruction. Yet we are blind to it! Totally unable to see what we are doing to ourselves and those around us.

I took notice of the God-glorifying benefit of pain recently as I was reading Ezra 3:1-13. The book of Ezra tells of the Jews returning from exile in Babylon. They had been led away in captivity due to their repeated stubborn sin. God had sent prophet after prophet warning them to repent, to turn from their sinful ways, but they steadfastly refused. They hardened their hearts toward God and His Word to them.

They would not listen.

They would not cease their self-destructive behavior.

So God gave them over to what their actions warranted. As much as God had pleaded with them (isn’t it humbling to think of God fighting FOR  us by pleading WITH us?!), and though it broke His heart to discipline them, He did it out of love for their sake.

He devastated their land with an invading enemy army, who killed most of them but carried off a remnant into exile. God did not completely wipe them out. He could have if He had wanted, but He didn’t.

He did not destroy them completely because He was after something other than their destruction.

                                              He wanted their repentance! 

I can relate to this. One of my children, during their high school years, was bent on a destructive path. My husband and I feared the worst would happen. The level of anxiety and frustration we lived with, as we saw him run as fast as he could toward rebellion, was beyond what we could endure at times. For several years, we were confronted with his sin and disregard for our instructions. We kept disciplining, month after month, year after year, when we finally drew a line in the sand and hoped and prayed he would not cross it. We did not WANT to have to follow through with our threat. But we knew his life, and most likely the lives of others, depended on it.

He did indeed cross the line…….and it broke our hearts to discipline him. We sent him into “exile” just as God had sent His children. Our beloved child was sent to spend his last year in high school in another state, in an all-male, Christian, military boarding school.

We were devastated. I remember crying through the whole process as we registered him. I was so angry that I was loosing my precious son to live away from us. But we knew we were out of options. We critically needed this action to bring about repentance, to save his life and his future.

This just happened to come at the hands of intense pain on our son’s part, as well as ours. Yes, it was extreme. Yes, it was more than difficult. It was gut-wrenching. But his life and well-being was worth any amount of pain to protect.

So as I read about God sending His beloved children into exile, I understand His motive all too well. I know the times of waiting and watching, desperate for any sign of humble brokenness necessary to bring about the change in heart needed.

I also know in a small way how He felt as these words were penned in Ezra 3:1-2 after the Israelites returned from their 70 year long discipline.

When the seventh month came and the Israelites had settled in their towns, the people assembled as one man in Jersulem. Then …….began to build the alter of  the God of Israel to sacrifice burnt offerings on it, in accordance with what was written in the Law of Moses the man of God.

And there it was- repentant behavior. They showed obedience to what God had been pleading. As they returned from exile, they came home with a new attitude and humbly followed what was written in the Law. They were submitting, no longer fighting against Him.

We had the same privilege at seeing our son repent. Through experiencing extreme pain, he was finally able to see what he was so blind or indifferent to before. He was awakened to the truth of his sin and self-inflicted circumstances.

Had we not allowed the pain to penetrate his world, I doubt very seriously he would be here today.

Could there have been another way? Would our son, or the Jews, have turned from their sin had it not been for the intense pain they experienced? In my opinion, no.

Am I glad for the pain we inflicted upon him and ourselves? Yes. Because he repented and is a young man living the life God intended for him all along now.

Sometimes, pain is what we need the most and we are being less than courageous when we shield our loved ones from the “pain” their actions are warranting.

If we try to shield the reaping of what our loved one’s actions are sowing, we are hindering the work of God in His effort to bring about their repentance. 

This goes for spouses too. The best thing my husband has going for him is knowing that I will call an elder in a heartbeat if his actions get out of control. And me knowing he will call an elder’s wife if I start spiraling into rebellion of what God has caommanded benefits me!

Accountability without pain is void of any real hope for change. 

The pain is meant to get us into repentance when nothing else will! It is our silver bullet. It is God’s example to us.

Whenever I am at a loss on whether I should proceed with something, I look to see if it is reflective of God and exampled in His Word. If my Heavenly Father allows pain to enter my life for my good, who am I to think any other way will work? As much as our heart in love toward others wants to prevent necessary circumstances from happening, and as much as we feel unloving to bring the sin of others into the light of God’s authority, we are in fact loving them in their best interest when we do. That, my dear sisters in Christ, is agape love and to what we are called as believers.

My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.  James 19-20

Is it easy? No!

Is it scary? Yes!

Is it necessary? Absolutely!

And may God give us the strength and courage we need to bear the pain that can set us/others free……