Reading this morning in Mark 1, I came across a lie that I had believed as a young mom. The memories of stress and strain came flooding back as I had been a full-throttle perfectionist during those days. (I call myself a “recovering” perfectionist now. lol)

I thought I would take the time to share some of what helped me the most from the early years.

Are you finding it challenging to mature in your faith as a young mother?

Life as a new mom, wow!

I remember trying to leave the house by 11 a.m. was more than I could accomplish half the time. The thought of all that needed to be done each day was overwhelming, and quite frankly, impossible. I seemed to have struggled more with the first baby compared to when the rest of our children came along.

What a learning curve?!

Having 3 babies in 3 1/2 years pushed me beyond my limit at times, but along the way, I learned some valuable lessons. These are lessons I wished I had known sooner versus later as a young mother, especially as a believing mom who wanted desperately to grow in my faith.

Over the years, I have shared these lessons with countless younger women. From MOPS groups to retreats, from mentoring to Bible studies, these nuggets of gold have been given out freely because I truly believe they are life-changing.

At least they were for me!

Unfortunately, I learned them the hard way AND the long way, giving me the desire to help others sooner. My hope is that it will help you not only simplify your life but enrich it in the best possible way- with the Lord.

Do you find it defeating to continuously feel “behind”?

For the life of me, I could not figure out how to prioritize. It seemed life EVERYTHING needed to be done NOW. I was constantly behind! “Catching up” was always the daily goal but never seemed to become my reality.

And as a perfectionist, this chapped me something awful!

Here is the lie and the first lesson learned.

Lie- All or Nothing! Either it all gets accomplished or nothing else matters.

#1 Lesson- Steady progress is what counts!

Life with small children means that for every task achieved, one more becomes necessary. Seriously……??

As a perfectionist obsessed with achieving goals so that I could check them off my list, this drove me CRAZY! Because I wasn’t able to “finish”, it left me feeling burdened under a demanding to-do list.

Reading about Christ, I didn’t see Him respond like this. As He traveled performing ministry, He continually appeared calm, cool and collected. Mark 1:19-32 says,

 As soon as they left the synagogue, they went with James and John to the home of Simon and Andrew.  Simon’s mother-in-law was in bed with a fever, and they immediately told Jesus about her.  So he went to her, took her hand and helped her up. The fever left her and she began to wait on them.

 That evening after sunset the people brought to Jesus all the sick and demon-possessed. The whole town gathered at the door,  and Jesus healed many who had various diseases. He also drove out many demons, but he would not let the demons speak because they knew who he was.

How did Jesus handle the demands of His life?

I think the wording is important here. It says that the people brought “all” the sick and demon-possessed to Jesus, that the “whole town” gathered at the door, but it also says that Jesus only healed and drove out “many”.

This is significant in my opinion. It could have stated that ALL had been healed. Jesus may not have taken  care of EVERY need on that day. While Jesus performed many miracles, the Bible does not infer that He healed every person and drove out every demon amongst the Jewish people during His three years of ministry. He was not operating by the “all or nothing” mentality.

And neither should we.

When I felt burdened by my to-do list, I was continuingly short-changing God because I never felt I had enough time for Him. Even when I would try to have a devotional time, it would get interrupted. Having a 45-minute devotional time was a pipe dream most days.

I could be as quiet as a mouse, but more times than not, one or more of the kids would come find me for some kind of request. It seemed pointless to keep trying for it to happen.

Out of frustration, I learned the “all or nothing” mentality wasn’t the best attitude for growing my faith. If all I could get was a few moments with the Lord,  then so be it. That was better than nothing.

How could this help me?

Steady progress was what mattered, with tasks AND devotions.  So I adjusted my mindset to achieve progress, not perfection in my devotional time. Instead of shooting for 45 uninterrupted minutes with the Lord reading my Bible or praying, I would take whatever moments I could and not beat myself up about it. I kept going back to Him because I knew it would be worth it. There would be immeasurable gain by stealing moments to be with Him.

I also learned that I can do a lot of things with a baby on my hip, but Bible study wasn’t one of them. So if I found the kids quietly content as they played, then I would stop cleaning or folding the laundry and run to my room for some quiet moments in the Word.

Seeking perfectionistic goals as a mom weren’t helping my faith so why continue it? I kept chasing minutes here and there whenever I could and I did not give up trying. The devil wanted me to think the effort wasn’t worth it. He wanted me to think it didn’t matter in that crazy season of my life, that God would understand why I was too busy.

But I knew it did matter!

I learned steady progress was my goal in accomplishing the unending tasks of a young mother as well as determinedly capturing moments here and there for sweet fellowship with Jesus.

Is the urgent what is most important?

What is most important during these years? Is is meeting all the needs, urgent as they are?

I was conflicted because society was telling me that my children were my number one priority but there was something troubling about this. I felt compelled to meet all of their needs before my own, but was that the most important priority?

What was MY greatest need as a young mom?

Jesus.

Time with Him.

How could I become the patient, kind, gentle, loving mother I knew my children deserved without spending time with the One who could accomplish that work in me?

Lie- I need to be the “perfect” mom.

#2 Lesson- God will perfect me as I spend time with Him.

I was desperate to be the mom I wanted for my children. But you know the problem with that?

I was trying to be the “perfect” mom. Once again, my perfectionism was costing me without me recognizing it.

My desire to be perfect was really prideful and selfish. I wanted to check that goal off my list just like all the daily tasks in front of me. I rationalized that God deserved me being a great mom as well. Wouldn’t that glorify His name?

I prayed for it.

I begged for it.

But I could not achieve it.

Want to know why?

It wasn’t what was most important.

What was important?

God did not want me to be perfect as much as He wanted me to be perfected. You see, what I thought was so urgent for the sake of my children (and my inner need for achievement), was not truly the right priority.  In reality, I was trying to use God to achieve my standard. Ouch. That hurts!

God did not want me to be perfect as much as He wanted me to be perfected. Share on X

God convicted me not to make idols out of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). Just as I could not save myself from my sin, I could not sanctify myself either. Jesus was in charge of that . No amount of my effort was going to make me into the mom I wanted to become.

But spending time with Jesus would!

What was going to help me most as a young mom?

Through reading God’s Word, praying and worshiping, Jesus would continually perfect me into Christlikeness. Spending time with Jesus would accomplish more in me than all my effort ever could. The fruit of the Spirit is a by-product from maturing faith. I had to put the time in with my Savior to gain that, then it would almost effortlessly take place through the power of the Spirit.

One of the biggest hindrances to this being accomplished? The constant interruptions though.

God had a solution for that.

First, I was to get up early.

Yes, I said that. I know! Believe me, I KNOW!

I was a night person at the time so I was very upset that this had to change.

But listen to me- there is NOTHING that has made more of a difference in my faith than obeying Him in this. By getting up earlier before the kids, I usually had 30-45 minutes uninterrupted time with the Lord.

Secondly, if one of the kids did get up early, I was to teach them, that unless it was an emergency, their need for juice or cheerios had to wait till I finished my time with the Lord.

They were to learn their “need” did not come before Him. I would kindly ask them to go back to their room and play until I finished or sometimes I gave them the option to read quietly beside me.

Luke 5:15-16 taught me this valuable principle.

Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses.  But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.

The word “but” teaches me that Jesus did not meet all their needs first before He went to be with His Father. I learned that the needs facing Him were so much more urgent than sippy cups and cartoons, yet He made the choice to leave some of those needs unmet in order to gain moments with the Father.

What’s the lesson learned?

If the Son of God needed time with the Father, then who was I to think I didn’t?

If the Son of God needed time with the Father, then who was I to think I didn't? Share on X

That taught me that what may appear urgent wasn’t always what was most important. Spending a daily time with the Lord would benefit me and my family more than anything else I could hope to achieve.

Matthew 6:33 kept it simple for me. I pray this helps some of you young moms! Follow hard my friends! You won’t regret  it!

 

 

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