How Discouragement Happens
It’s the moments where I am caught off guard that affect me the most, when I don’t see the impact coming.
Times such as when…
- My “friend” called me to tell me about the girl’s trip she and our other friends took without inviting me.
- The pastor’s wife (of long ago) disbanded the women’s ministry team I was on and reformed it without me.
- My co-worker at the school where I taught stabbed me in the back.
- We received the phone call revealing one more act of rebellion at the hands of one of our children.
Moments such as these have left me reeling.
What Discouragement Feels Like
Spiraling is probably a better description because downward is most certainly the direction I went!
For others, it can be a long wait or a time of endurance- a dream delayed or dashed, a selfish spouse who keeps “taking”, a job loss, a child receiving a diagnosis. Sometimes it is our bodies that betray us, refusing to cooperate with the health needed for a “normal” life.
We all know those moments…..when the swell of discouragement comes crashing in.
We feel more than disappointed. We feel crushed, dejected.
I think some people are more plagued by this tendency than others, but I think we all feel the weight of this emotion at one time or another. Jesus certainly had His own opportunities to feel discouragement.
How Jesus Encountered Discouragement
He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. He stood up to read, and the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:
“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him. He began by saying to them, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”
All spoke well of him and were amazed at the gracious words that came from his lips. “Isn’t this Joseph’s son?” they asked.
Jesus said to them, “Surely you will quote this proverb to me: ‘Physician, heal yourself!’ And you will tell me, ‘Do here in your hometown what we have heard that you did in Capernaum.’”
“Truly I tell you,” he continued, “no prophet is accepted in his hometown. I assure you that there were many widows in Israel in Elijah’s time, when the sky was shut for three and a half years and there was a severe famine throughout the land. Yet Elijah was not sent to any of them, but to a widow in Zarephath in the region of Sidon. And there were many in Israel with leprosy in the time of Elisha the prophet, yet not one of them was cleansed—only Naaman the Syrian.”
All the people in the synagogue were furious when they heard this. They got up, drove him out of the town, and took him to the brow of the hill on which the town was built, in order to throw him off the cliff.
But he walked right through the crowd and went on his way.
What was His response?
What a discouraging time at “home”?! Jesus had returned to where He was raised to minister to the hometown crowd. What transpired was anything BUT encouraging.
This scene seems to encapsulate that the root of discouragement can often be unmet expectations.
Do you know that feeling? I sure do!!
It seems that as many areas that our lives comprise, there are many opportunities to become disappointed in our expectations.
And discouragement can come flooding in!
What surprises me is how Jesus did not seem to let it get to Him. He appears to walk right through the negativity without letting it weigh Him down, as though the discouragement never has a chance to cling to Him.
How does Jesus do this?
How can He not be affected by the people around Him, the events taking place in His life that are certainly not conducive to building Him up but rather for tearing Him down? Jesus may have indeed FELT the pain of rejection but without letting it drive Him into dejection.
Psalm 42:6 gives us a clue.
“My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you…”
What then can we remember about God that will help when we feel downcast?
8 Ways To Counter Discouragement With Scripture
1] Remember God is with us.
“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
Deuteronomy 31:8
2] Remember God’s Word is critical for our ability to overcome with strength and perspective.
“Then you will have success if you are careful to observe the decrees and laws that the Lord gave Moses for Israel. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged. “
1 Chronicles 22:13
3] Remember it is God who will equip us to fulfill His purpose and that is to be our priority.
“Be strong and courageous and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished.”
1 Chronicles 28:20
4] Remember it is God who will fight for us.
“Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.”
2 Chronicles 20:15
5] Remember it is God who will deliver us when we face our battles in life.
“You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.”
2 Chronicles 20:17
6] Remember God is greater in us than any foe we may face.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged because of the king of Assyria and the vast army with him, for there is a greater power with us than with him.”
2 Chronicles 32:7
7] Remember we are not to retaliate but to entrust our trials to the Lord.
“When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.”
1 Peter 2:23
8] Remember to focus on what is good and right, rejecting the negative thought cycle.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”
Philippians 4:8
How to Move Forward Encouraged
Hebrews 12:3
It is through remembering God's promises and the example of Christ that we overcome discouragement. Share on XConsider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
I have found that as I understand discouragement is a temptation and scheme from the devil, it helps me recognize the emotional cycle I am experiencing. At that point, I turn to God’s Word to identify the lie I am believing from the enemy and therefore counter it with God’s truth and promises. Considering what I have to be grateful for in other areas and using worship music brings my discouragement to an end and replaces it with encouragement.
Just as Jesus was able to walk right through His moment of discouragement and go on His way, so can we. We will not be bound by the unmet expectations of those around us or defined by the disappointing circumstances of our life.
We will “remember” and walk through to freedom!
Gayl says
You know, it’s true that when we are discouraged the best thing to do is turn to God. He is the only one who will provide the encouragement we really need. It’s easy to focus on ourselves and our circumstances and continue on a downward trial. How much better to go to God first.
Blessings to you! I’m your neighbor at the #RaRaLinkup!
Gretchen Fleming says
Thanks Gayl! I know, it is astonishing how turning to Him quickly and first turns our mood around. He truly does make all the difference. Blessings!
~ linda says
Powerful words from the Word of God…but are they ever anything but POWERFUL? NO! I just wrote on listening to and for Him and so need to sit still and remember Whose I am and Who He is. Thank you for giving me these wonderful verses on which to meditate. I do get downcast at times and know that I want to look up, focusing on Him.
Gretchen Fleming says
Thank you Linda for visiting and I’m so glad you were served here today:) Meditating on His Word always makes me stronger and more hopeful!
Amy Cotton says
Love that even when things in the world disappoint us, we still have the ultimate prize, Jesus! So glad I came across your blog today!
Gretchen Fleming says
Me too Amy! Yes indeed He is the prize! Thanks for stopping by!
Steffanie Russ says
Thank you for these wise words today. I was scrolling though Coffee for the Heart to add my link (http://itcrossedmymind.blogspot.com/2017/03/the-known-unknown.html) when your title caption caught my eye and I just had to come back. I have been experiencing some discouragement this last week or so, and I needed these 8 steps. I saved them to my computer to remind me. Blessings upon you today!
Gretchen Fleming says
Stephanie what an encouragement to read your reply:) I’m so glad my post was of use for you in the days when you are feeling the exact topic I wrote about. God allowing us to pass along the comfort we receive first is one of the best parts of being in the body of Christ. I am praying for you today friend! Thank you for stopping by.
Tiffany Parry says
Such encouragement here, Gretchen. I can relate to every single one of your discouragement and yeah, they sting. Even more so when the come at the hand of those who we believed cared for us. Remembering…Gods word, goodness, and faithfulness…that He has seen us through and will continue to do so. Thank you for that reminder today. Blessed to visit from #coffeeforyourheart.
Gretchen Fleming says
Thanks Tiffany and isn’t it through the times we draw close to Him for comfort that we actually grow in our intimacy with Him?! Only God can bring about Good from sorrow:) Blessings my friend!
Rebecca L Jones says
Number 7 is key. I found myself retailiating recently, not good. Even if you are right and others wrong, thankfully, He gives us grace.
Gretchen Fleming says
Yes the image of Jesus not retaliating back, being calm and quiet, has always convicted me in all the best ways. Strength under control and submission even when in the “right”. What an example! Only the Holy Spirit can help us follow likewise. Thanks for stopping by!
LAUREN Tonge says
Hey! I love your list! Pinned and shared! What great words and resources 🙂
Gretchen Fleming says
So glad you stopped by Lauren! Hope you are doing well and thank you?
Suzie Eller says
I’m always thankful when you linkup on #livefreeThursday. <3
Gretchen Fleming says
Aww thanks so much Suzie! I’m honored to have the opportunity with you:) ?Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to stop by! ☺️
Cindy Wilkins says
Oh, those unmet expectations! How they get me every time! Thank you for the reminder to look to Jesus’ example instead. We can truly expect the best from Him! Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Cindy your #livefree neighbor
Gretchen Fleming says
They get me too Cindy! Unmet expectations, along with unrealistic and misplaced expectations……? Goodness life can be challenging ? I always get my needs met best when I look to Him first:) thanks for visiting neighbor:)
Angela Howard says
Beautiful, solid teaching Gretchen and so applicable to real life! Thank you for writing. You are making a difference. Visiting from #livefreethursday
Gretchen Fleming says
Wow Angela, what an encouragement! If you’ve read my previous post of our purpose in life, those words of yours signify them . “Making a difference” is what I believe simplifies God’s will and purpose for us. Thank you friend for your kind words!!
Karen Friday says
Another great article, Gretchen. Found this one on Suzie’s link up. Love your 8 ways to counter discouragement. I’m learning to guard my heart and mind with truth. And not listen to lies from the enemy who wants me defeated. When there seems to be little hope, God is working in our lives—behind the scenes. The battle always belonged to Him. Blessings!
Gretchen Fleming says
Amen Karen! When we remember that He is the One that has the responsibility for our welfare, we reap the reward as we act accordingly. Too often in the past I have tried to handle life on my own. I am learning to recognize the feeling of discouragement sooner and turn to Him quicker. Thanks for stopping by Karen:)
Rochelle Bauer says
I love, love, love how much you incorporated God’s Word into the solution for discouragement! We can tend to focus on our own “solutions”, but in the end, His Word is the answer. Thank you for the insight and direction. This is a very discouraging time for me and this helped. Bless you! #livefreeThursday
Gretchen Fleming says
I’m so blessed that you were encouraged and equipped Rochelle! I have found that His Word is powerful for changing me and my perspective, if not my circumstances. There is nothing as effective as our weapon (sword of the spirit) of the Bible. Be strong and patient friend. When discouragement comes, you can be sure God is at work or else our enemy would not be fighting against you so. Sometimes I base my mood on what I see God doing when much of what He does is unseen until a later time. But I try to remember now that He is always at work, whether I see it or not. Remember Joshua chapter 1. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified or discouraged ” Prayong for you friend!
Carlie says
Thanks, Gretchen, for such biblically sound advice. Discouragement comes in so many forms. When the unmet dreams and hopes you have for someone you love are cut short abruptly by the loss of that person, discouragement can just about sink your soul. But God… He is always close and, I’ve found that these are the steps that take us right into His bosom. Thanks for the encouragement! Blessings to you!
Gretchen Fleming says
Goodness that is a whole other level of discouragement isn’t it? I’ve not walked that path yet so I can only imagine how challenging that is to keep perspective. But just as you say, it drives us closer to Him for the strength needed to persevere and overcome negative feelings. Thank you so much for visiting today:)
Edith says
I’m so delighted to connect with you through the Faith ‘n Friends Link Party. Really glad you are dealing with this here. Nos. 1, 2 & 7 struck a chord with me. God is with us. No need to feel rejected. His word brings comfort and healing. It also cheers us up. So no need to be vengeful. Thanks a whole lot. I shared a related topic but I’m mightily blessed by your approach here. God’s grace on your ministry and other endeavours in Jesus’ name.
Gretchen Fleming says
Thank you so much Edith and blessings to you as well!
Kristen says
Thank you, Gretchen, for sharing your struggle with discouragement and the hope found in God’s Word. I am heartbroken because my best friend is considering leaving our church to find a new one. I have read a couple of your other articles about using discernment to conquer discouragement (Nehemiah) and about trusting God with humility in the battles we face (Abijah). I feel that if I could know my friend’s reasons for leaving were from God, I could support her. But I struggle because I think they could be from Satan, too. I sense he could be isolating her and her family, giving them dissatisfaction that will ultimately lead to separating them from any church. After reading your articles, I’m now praying for discernment. I’m hurting terribly, but I will keep praying and seeking His face.
Gretchen Fleming says
I’m so sorry Kristin for your best friend’s struggle with church satisfaction. I have been on both sides. I have had friends that left and rarely did I receive their personal perspective on why they were leaving. I too have had the experience of leaving a church. My family left ours after 12 years. Although we were very quiet and respectful about leaving, we were very sure about our reasons. We had waited and prayed for a couple of years about it. We did not want to share because we didn’t want to influence others. We knew what we needed in a church and were willing finally to leave in order to gain it. Honest discussions may be possible with your best friend on their reasons. I know for my family we thrived once we found what we were looking for. I know there are some families that leave and can become aimless in their church hunt and attendance. I will be praying that your friend is patiently and prayerfully seeking God’s will for their church life. Thank you for visiting my blog Kristin and blessings to you for loving your friend well;)
Kristen says
Thanks again–this time for your response. I have been spending much time with the Lord, seeking his face and wisdom in this matter. I’m trying to be a good listener. Certainly what I want most for my friend and her family is that they love Jesus with all their hearts, souls, minds, and strength. I’m praying that God draws them to himself so that like David, they can say they thirst for Him like a deer pants for water.
Gretchen Fleming says
Amen my friend:)
Debbie Kitterman says
Gretchen – such a timely post and I love all 8 ways you listed. It seems that discouragement comes out of nowhere and hits me smack in the head, and often times I don’t recognize it right away. I have been writing around this topic the lst few weeks, just from a different angle. I so appreciate your words and your perspective. Thanks for linking up with #TuneInThursday – hope to see you join us again tomorrow.
Gretchen Fleming says
Grateful for your visit and I will gladly stop by your site momentarily:) lol. Aren’t you grateful to start recognizing those negative feelings sooner so you know how to stop their progression?! That has been so helpful to me in the last couple of years:)
Aimee Imbeau says
Hi, Gretchen. I really appreciate your post. The scripture verses you included have brought comfort to my broken heart today. I have chosen to feature your post in the is week’s Grace and Truth – a little late, I know, but that’s the way it goes. Thanks for sharing on Grace and Truth. Be sure to stop by and get the “I was featured” button.
Gretchen Fleming says
Thank you so much Aimee for your kindness in featuring me on grace and truth:) I am grateful you were served here today. Discouragement can be such a battle for me and I have found that Scripture and gratitude are my best weapons against it. God is able to comfort in the brokenness as only He can when we turn to Him with it, seeking Him in the midst of pain. Thank you for visiting with me my friend:)