Today was the day. Hope became sight. I am still cautious that all will follow through. Fear runs deep as hope has been dashed so many times before. But today, for now, hope was realized, for however long it may stay.
I woke this morning knowing one of two things would happen. Either hope was going to be answered……or dashed, and we would start all over again.
I am reminded how helpless I feel as I hope. There is absolutely nothing I can do to make my hope a reality. That is the very nature of hope. A belief in what is not yet seen, and a powerlessness to make it happen. And a waiting. A waiting that is so passive it is unnerving!
I learn about the process from Romans 8:24, “But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”
The waiting is hard because, like everyone, I don’t know how long the wait will be. Proverbs 13:12 speaks of the emotional toil of long term waiting, and hoping. “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Once again, the Bible puts words to my reality. I love how God understands my heart and even explains it to me at times!
What I have learned, as I continually go back to His Word for help and understanding, is that my hope is not in an event or desire as much as in a Person, in whom I have committed my way. I have given myself over to Him to determine what is best for me and mine. That in and of itself can make me feel vulnerable and helpless. Because it puts at risk the desire of my flesh for ease and control.
But I know what I know, and there is no going back. Psalm 146:5-6 says ” Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God, the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea and everything in them- the Lord who remains faithful forever.” My hope therefore, is in a safe place. I am in a safe place, even as I wait to see the extent of my hope fulfilled.
To bring this hope transaction full circle, only God could bring glory to Himself as I place my hope in Him. Psalm 147:10-11 makes the connection of my hope and His pleasure. “His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor His delight in the legs of man; the Lord delights in those who fear Him , who put their hope in His unfailing love.” This is the passage I read this morning and prayed over as I prepared myself for the reality of what was to come, either hope realized, or more waiting.
Either way, I remind myself that I am in His hands, and safe. Helpless, yet oh so hopeful! To His glory and grace!!